About My Involvement In Witchcraft
Some witches only wear crystals and cast the occasional spell for good fortune. They’re similar to the type of Christian who doesn’t even really think about God much in their day-to-day life. I didn’t just believe I could cast spells. I read other people’s minds. I saw and talked to spirits. I traveled to the afterlife. I invaded people’s dreams while they slept. I engaged in psychic warfare with other witches. I battled and killed demons on a daily basis.
Or at least, I thought I did. I now know it was all nonsense. At the time, though, I was 100% convinced it was real. I didn’t just believe in spirits. I saw them with my own eyes every day. Trying to tell me ghosts weren’t real would have been like telling me my own mom didn’t exist. I spoke with spirits and they spoke back to me. I would cast spells to compel people to do things, and I witnessed the spells work. People would often refuse to look me in the eyes because they were afraid if they did, I would read their thoughts. When I did read their thoughts and revealed what I had learned, they would admit I was correct. I could look at someone and physically see their aura glowing around them. I could look into their eyes and see their spirit.
This experience permeated my everyday life. I never spoke to anyone without reading their thoughts and checking their spirit type. Even if it was just the guy selling me a candy bar at the convenience store, he would get read. I would look into people’s past lives without their knowledge so I’d know how to better deal with them. I would talk to their spirit guides to try to get more information. The afterlife was my life.
After 6 years of this lifestyle, I took a Biology class in college and finally learned the scientific method. It disturbed me greatly, and I stopped actively practicing magick. My students, whom I’d been training, expressed bewilderment as to why I would turn my back on what I had learned. I couldn’t explain it to them because I didn’t understand it myself. That was in the year 2000. It took me 7 years, from 2000 to 2007, before I was able to completely unwrap myself from the psychosis I had been enthralled in.
The magick in witchcraft operates almost entirely off of visualization. For example, if you want to heal someone, you might imagine a bright white light emanating from the point of injury and growing to encompass the person. Or, if you want to protect yourself, you might imagine a great bubble shield growing and encompassing your house. The more powerfully you imagine it, the stronger the spell will be.
I found that if you stared into someone’s eyes for long enough, their face would morph into a completely different face. In this way, you could visually see who they were in their past lives. Some had been many different people, and their faces would flip past very quickly, with a pace of 2-3 different faces every second. It was a surreal experience.
I didn’t realize at the time how powerful visualization could be. I didn’t know it was possible to convince yourself that you could see people that weren’t there. When I imagined the bright white light or the bubble shields I would create, I thought they were real because I saw them with my own eyes. I didn’t realize I was just imagining it very powerfully.
As I began to slowly lose my faith, I retained my ability for powerful visualization. Sometimes, this did not go well. I wasn’t sure if my experiences were real or not. Since I wasn’t practicing my abilities anymore, I started to lose control of them.
For example, I used to think that if I killed a bug, its spirit would try to haunt me in vengeance for its death. If a bug died by my hand, I would actually see its spirit leave its carcass, grow to over 8 feet tall, and begin terrorizing me. Looking back, this seems completely stupid. But at the time, this was a daily dose of fear for me.
I was beginning to clue in at this point that it was just my imagination. With 6 years of practice, though, I couldn’t just will myself to stop seeing things. Every time I got in my car, there would be 8 foot tall wasps in the backseat ready to kill me. Whenever I got in the shower, there would be giant roaches ready to eat my head. I found myself chanting, “It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real” over and over again in my head.
Eventually, I got control of it and this stopped happening. As I learned about the cognitive flaws that allowed for my experiences, I slowly developed a much stronger worldview.
I later learned that many of my fellow witches, whom I’d lost contact with for years, had also become atheists. Funny how some people grow along the same paths even when they lose contact.
To all those who have shared my experiences, congratulations on making it out. And… I’m sorry for contributing to your delusions.