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January 30, 2012

7

About My Involvement In Witchcraft

by juju2112

I used to practice witchcraft. I was more deeply involved in it than anyone you’ve probably ever met, though. You could say I was the “fundamentalist Christian” of witches.

Some witches only wear crystals and cast the occasional spell for good fortune. They’re similar to the type of Christian who doesn’t even really think about God much in their day-to-day life. I didn’t just believe I could cast spells. I read other people’s minds. I saw and talked to spirits. I traveled to the afterlife. I invaded people’s dreams while they slept. I engaged in psychic warfare with other witches. I battled and killed demons on a daily basis.

Or at least, I thought I did. I now know it was all nonsense. At the time, though, I was 100% convinced it was real. I didn’t just believe in spirits. I saw them with my own eyes every day. Trying to tell me ghosts weren’t real would have been like telling me my own mom didn’t exist. I spoke with spirits and they spoke back to me. I would cast spells to compel people to do things, and I witnessed the spells work. People would often refuse to look me in the eyes because they were afraid if they did, I would read their thoughts. When I did read their thoughts and revealed what I had learned, they would admit I was correct. I could look at someone and physically see their aura glowing around them. I could look into their eyes and see their spirit.

This experience permeated my everyday life. I never spoke to anyone without reading their thoughts and checking their spirit type. Even if it was just the guy selling me a candy bar at the convenience store, he would get read. I would look into people’s past lives without their knowledge so I’d know how to better deal with them. I would talk to their spirit guides to try to get more information. The afterlife was my life.

After 6 years of this lifestyle, I took a Biology class in college and finally learned the scientific method. It disturbed me greatly, and I stopped actively practicing magick. My students, whom I’d been training, expressed bewilderment as to why I would turn my back on what I had learned. I couldn’t explain it to them because I didn’t understand it myself. That was in the year 2000. It took me 7 years, from 2000 to 2007, before I was able to completely unwrap myself from the psychosis I had been enthralled in.

The magick in witchcraft operates almost entirely off of visualization. For example, if you want to heal someone, you might imagine a bright white light emanating from the point of injury and growing to encompass the person. Or, if you want to protect yourself, you might imagine a great bubble shield growing and encompassing your house. The more powerfully you imagine it, the stronger the spell will be.

I found that if you stared into someone’s eyes for long enough, their face would morph into a completely different face. In this way, you could visually see who they were in their past lives. Some had been many different people, and their faces would flip past very quickly, with a pace of 2-3 different faces every second. It was a surreal experience.

I didn’t realize at the time how powerful visualization could be. I didn’t know it was possible to convince yourself that you could see people that weren’t there. When I imagined the bright white light or the bubble shields I would create, I thought they were real because I saw them with my own eyes. I didn’t realize I was just imagining it very powerfully.

As I began to slowly lose my faith, I retained my ability for powerful visualization. Sometimes, this did not go well. I wasn’t sure if my experiences were real or not. Since I wasn’t practicing my abilities anymore, I started to lose control of them.

For example, I used to think that if I killed a bug, its spirit would try to haunt me in vengeance for its death. If a bug died by my hand, I would actually see its spirit leave its carcass, grow to over 8 feet tall, and begin terrorizing me. Looking back, this seems completely stupid. But at the time, this was a daily dose of fear for me.

I was beginning to clue in at this point that it was just my imagination. With 6 years of practice, though, I couldn’t just will myself to stop seeing things. Every time I got in my car, there would be 8 foot tall wasps in the backseat ready to kill me. Whenever I got in the shower, there would be giant roaches ready to eat my head. I found myself chanting, “It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real” over and over again in my head.

Eventually, I got control of it and this stopped happening. As I learned about the cognitive flaws that allowed for my experiences, I slowly developed a much stronger worldview.

I later learned that many of my fellow witches, whom I’d lost contact with for years, had also become atheists. Funny how some people grow along the same paths even when they lose contact.

To all those who have shared my experiences, congratulations on making it out. And… I’m sorry for contributing to your delusions.

Top Image credit: Ryan Karolak

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7 Comments Post a comment
  1. Jan 31 2012

    I think I talked to you, once, about a witch girl that I talked to when I worked at the supercenter. She had me look at a pendant that she wore around her neck and she asked me what the symbols were. I, of course, said that I have no idea. She said that they were runes. So happens that I am familiar with germanic runes and explained to her that if those were runes, I have no idea which alphabet they come from. Well, that picture is the exact same pendant that she had.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_Futhark
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Saxon_runes

    Reply
  2. Jan 31 2012

    OK! I did some research and discovered the Theban Alphabet. It is a substitution cipher for the classical Latin alphabet. It probably was invented in the 1300’s. It is not a runic alphabet. The pendant says, “ABCDEFGHIKLMNOPQRSTUXYZ”

    IMO, the Elder Futhark is much cooler looking than the Theban Cipher.

    Reply
    • juju2112
      Jan 31 2012

      That’s pretty funny. I never actually wore that particular pendant. I had one like it, but without the runes.

  3. Jan 31 2012

    It’s neither an alphabet or runes. It’s a substitution cipher. That means that it is just symbols that are used in place of the normal letters of an existing alphabet. In this case it is the Latin Alphabet that was used during the time for any and everything religious. Someone invented the cipher to use in place of the normal Latin letters to make esoteric documents look more mystical or mysterious. No wonder, I didn’t recognize it.

    Reply
    • juju2112
      Jan 31 2012

      Yeah, I understand. I wouldn’t have been smart enough to figure that out at the time. Of course, there was no Internet back then.

  4. May 26 2013

    Sometimes is best not to over-analyze the foolhardiness of your youth.

    Reply

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  1. How I Became An Atheist | Donald Morton's Blog

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