Skip to content

January 31, 2012


Using Magick To Protect Your Parking Spot

by juju2112

In yesterday’s post, I covered how, in my time as a witch, magick would find it’s way into every single part of my life. I have another example of this from the blog of a currently practicing witch.

This guy was annoyed that people kept taking his parking spot. What to do?? Craft a magical guardian to guard your spot, of course! Here is an excerpt from the spell:

Specific Intent : To prevent other motorists parking their cars in the space immediately in front of my house

Energy/power source – all the energies from vehicles moving up and down the road

Appearance – A big traffic cone – bright orange with white stripes

Magical abilities – you can detect when an approaching driver intends to park in my place. Will expand to a size, bristling with orange spikes, which fully occupies the space, convincing the driver there is inadequate room to park.

Housing – you will be contained in crystal placed nearby

Activation – to be activated whenever my car leaves the parking space


Now, as I walk outside to unlock my car I say something like “Myspace! deploy!” and visualise him springing from the stone which is in a plantpot in the garden, cunningly hidden by a leaf. As I drive away I visualise its shape filling the space I am vacating.

And does it work? I reckon it does. Okay, there are some drivers in the street who inevitably will not be susceptible to astral traffic cones, but the instances of invasion are certainly fewer.

The reason I bring this up is to counter the claim, made by people who don’t understand my passion, that it doesn’t matter what you believe.

I used to do stuff like this every day. Every little thing that inconvenienced me would have a magical solution crafted for it. I went about my life thinking it was working, and I put a lot of time, energy, and emotion into it.

traffic_conesThink about how trivial this situation is and the depth of delusion involved. Does having an accurate view of your day-to-day life matter? Is that a trivial thing? What kind of life is this for someone to lead, where the majority of their thoughts involve things that aren’t real? It’s not right to avoid challenging people who walk around being deluded like this. I submit to you that the simple act of being deluded is harm.

I particularly like the bit at the end where he qualifies that it just won’t work on some people. When I read this, I want to go back to the past, slap myself on the back of the head, and give myself a copy of the Wikipedia entry on confirmation bias.

Also, to you Christians out there, don’t think you’re excluded from this. This is almost exactly like prayer. It involves the same type of goal, the same mechanism, and the same cognitive bias. Both spells and prayer will never work in a double-blind experiment because it would prevent you from ignoring the times when it doesn’t work.

I feel bad for singling this blogger out. Witches get enough crap from Christians, they sure don’t need it from me. They’re just as wrong as Christians, though, and in the exact same ways. And anyways, it makes me nostalgic.

Image credit: chris_park_uk
3 Comments Post a comment
  1. Feb 1 2012

    Hey, I saw that magical cone in Springdale!

  2. Feb 1 2012

    Wow, that is kind of funny. After leaving Christianity I read up on Wicca and considered it, but I gave it up because it struck me as too superstitious.

    • juju2112
      Feb 1 2012

      When I went into Witchcraft, superstition wasn’t the problem for me. The obvious hypocrisy of the Christian church was. I suspect it’s the same for many people. Unfortunately, being able to see the hypocrisy isn’t sufficient to protect you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Note: HTML is allowed. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to comments

%d bloggers like this: