Using Magick To Protect Your Parking Spot
In yesterday’s post, I covered how, in my time as a witch, magick would find it’s way into every single part of my life. I have another example of this from the blog of a currently practicing witch.
This guy was annoyed that people kept taking his parking spot. What to do?? Craft a magical guardian to guard your spot, of course! Here is an excerpt from the spell:
Specific Intent : To prevent other motorists parking their cars in the space immediately in front of my house
Energy/power source – all the energies from vehicles moving up and down the road
Appearance – A big traffic cone – bright orange with white stripes
Magical abilities – you can detect when an approaching driver intends to park in my place. Will expand to a size, bristling with orange spikes, which fully occupies the space, convincing the driver there is inadequate room to park.
Housing – you will be contained in crystal placed nearby
Activation – to be activated whenever my car leaves the parking space
Now, as I walk outside to unlock my car I say something like “Myspace! deploy!” and visualise him springing from the stone which is in a plantpot in the garden, cunningly hidden by a leaf. As I drive away I visualise its shape filling the space I am vacating.
And does it work? I reckon it does. Okay, there are some drivers in the street who inevitably will not be susceptible to astral traffic cones, but the instances of invasion are certainly fewer.
The reason I bring this up is to counter the claim, made by people who don’t understand my passion, that it doesn’t matter what you believe.
I used to do stuff like this every day. Every little thing that inconvenienced me would have a magical solution crafted for it. I went about my life thinking it was working, and I put a lot of time, energy, and emotion into it.
Think about how trivial this situation is and the depth of delusion involved. Does having an accurate view of your day-to-day life matter? Is that a trivial thing? What kind of life is this for someone to lead, where the majority of their thoughts involve things that aren’t real? It’s not right to avoid challenging people who walk around being deluded like this. I submit to you that the simple act of being deluded is harm.
I particularly like the bit at the end where he qualifies that it just won’t work on some people. When I read this, I want to go back to the past, slap myself on the back of the head, and give myself a copy of the Wikipedia entry on confirmation bias.
Also, to you Christians out there, don’t think you’re excluded from this. This is almost exactly like prayer. It involves the same type of goal, the same mechanism, and the same cognitive bias. Both spells and prayer will never work in a double-blind experiment because it would prevent you from ignoring the times when it doesn’t work.
I feel bad for singling this blogger out. Witches get enough crap from Christians, they sure don’t need it from me. They’re just as wrong as Christians, though, and in the exact same ways. And anyways, it makes me nostalgic.